The Situation

[KIOD]

[It's noon at homeland, and as Solomon and Carmen go on their lunch breaks, Martha makes an announcement over the louspeaker]

Martha: "I need all field and technical personnel in the conference room in 5 minutes. That is all."

Solomon: "Oh gurl better not be cutting my lunch break short again to complain about our performance. I understand menopause is a bitch, but if you can't take the heat flash, gtfo of the office."

Carmen: "Oh Solomon, you're so precious. Luckily I get to stay on my break with Martha's son. Maybe I'll be getting that promotion after all! Oh! Did you hear the latest gossip? Apparently someone found a vibrator in Lisa's locker, can you believe it?!"

Solomon: "You cradle robbing biotch! And gurl I'm telling you the only thing straight about Lisa is th-

[Magen knocks into Solomon, sending the photo copies she just made flying]

Magen: "OHMAGA SO sorry! Like can you believe the work that Martha has me doing? How am I supposed to walk in heels AND deliver photocopies? Am I right?"

[As Magen bends down to pick up the copies, Dominic nods his head in approval from behind the corner]

Solomon: "Come on you big perv, we've got a meeting to go to. Bye gurls!"

Dominic: "Cut a guy some slack, I'm just appreciating a fine piece of ass...but you wouldn't understand would you? Let's get this over with."

[Solomon and Dominic head to the meeting, where they are joined by about 10 others including Brian and Karen]

Brian: "I didn't know you were active in the field Karen?"

Karen: "Either did I [laughs]. Martha asked me to join, let's hope it's not for a bad reason!"

Martha: "Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I asked you all here beca- wait where's Warren?"

Karen: "I told him we had a meeting and he said he had an important phone call to make and he'd be a little late. You know Warren, he isn't going to make it."

Martha: "Well then let's get down to business. [Martha dials the number to reach the holding room] Bring him in."

[Lisa walks in with a man, scrambling as Lisa puts him in a choke hold]

Lisa: "Here's the puta himself. Now I tried to be non violent with him but then he looked at me with those eyes and I had no choice but to bitch slap him. He messed with a latina and called me a whore. JUST BECAUSE I'M A LATINA DOES NOT MEAN I'M A SLUT. THIS FUCKING CRACKER WANTS TO MESS WITH LISA? [intensifies choke hold]"

Brian: "That's enough Lisa."

Lisa: "Don't tell me what to do you racist. [sits down, disgruntled]"

[Mike walks into the room, curious as to what is going on]

Mike: "What the hell was that?"

Martha: "Mike you're supposed to be on lunch. Lisa was just being...well Lisa. Now please Mike, this meeting is important."

Mike: "Fine mom, I know when I'm not wanted...[storms off]"

Martha: "[sigh] Okay. Well the man that Lisa brought in we have learned has direct contact with a terrorist cell here in Washington. Now we don't know much as to what these terrorists have planned, but thanks to Lisa, we have a time frame to work with and a possible weapon. Why don't you tell them yourself..."

Suspect: "Now the only reason I'm telling you all of this is because I'm getting immunity for it. The people I work for are planning an attack sometime this week using a weapon engineered by the Soviets in the 80's. That's all I'm going to tell you for now until I see my immunity deal."

Martha: "Karen I want you to begin researching this weapon. Solomon, make sure Warren is briefed on the situation and assembles his teams. Dominic, I want this to be your first protocol. Let's get to work people."

[Everyone exits the meeting]

[KIOD]

[It's now 12:30 at homeland, as Brian runs into Warren at his workstation]

Brian: "Hey Warren, did Solomon catch you up to speed on the situation?"

Warren: "No what is it? And please make it fast, I'm busy."

Brian: "There's an imminent terrorist threat and Martha wants your teams on standby."

Warren: "Of course she does. Let me guess, she wants me working with Solomon? I've told her a thousand times, he's a great agent, but we just don't mix."

Brian: "Not my problem Warren, take it up with Martha."

[It's now 12:47 at homeland, as Mike and Carmen are finishing up their lunch break]

Carmen: "You know Michael...can I call you Michael? I know some people here don't believe in you, but I want you to know that I do [holds hand and pushes up her breasts] If you ever need anything...anything, just know that I'm here for you [smiles]"

Mike: "[clearly flustered] Ahh yeah. You know actually I co-"

[The lockdown alarm suddenly goes off]

Automated message: "A lockdown has been initiated. Everyone please move to the first floor briefing room immediately."

[5 minutes pass as Karen and Lisa cross paths]

Karen: "Martha is going to kill me. I know it's a lockdown, but I had to save some files on my flash drive to begin research on the weapon."

Lisa: "Bitch did I ask for your life story? No I didn't. You don't need to know why I am late, and I don't need to know why you are."

Karen: "Um...sorry I was-

Magen: "[from a distance] OHMAGA!!!! Someone come quick!"

[Dominic and Warren run over to Magen]

Dominic: "It's the suspect. He's...dead."

Warren: "This gunshot wound is fresh, he must have just been shot."

[Martha discovers the crime scene]

Martha: "How did this happen?! He was our only lead on the terrorist threat."

[Mike, Carmen, Karen, Lisa, and Brian join the others]

Mike: "Woah!"

Carmen: "I came as soon as I heard Magen. When there is Magen, there is drama."

[Solomon is last to arrive, discovering the body and shrieking]

Solomon: "Omg! What a shame. He was like totally hot."

Dominic: "Wait, if he was shot after the lockdown was initiated, and we're the only ones not in the briefing room..."

Magen: "Like, I totally would have been in the briefing room but then like I saw my reflection in the window and saw it as an opportunity to like brush it. Can you tell?! [beams in self pride]"

Lisa: "Shut it blondie. So what are you trying to say...You can't possibly think that...

Karen: "The lockdown was a diversion and..."

Brian: "...Homeland security has been compromised...by one of us."